“Why the hell would you do that to yourself?”

There are a lot of words that I use to describe myself. Student. Writer. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Employee. The list goes on. However long that list may be, there is one word you certainly won’t find on it: Yogi. For those of you who know me, you know that I “do yoga.” Not often, not religiously. Just when I feel like it. I “do” yoga. I do not “practice” yoga. I want that to change.
 
Over the past three years, I have had the extraordinary opportunity to do something that I believe most people never  do: I have met myself. It sounds strange, but through a series of challenges and setbacks, difficulties and heartbreaks, I have had the opportunity to find out part of who I believe I really am. Not all of who I am, but part of it. Now I want to find out what I can do. For years, my life has been defined my academia and not much else. For twelve years of my life, all that mattered was the final outcome: the piece of paper issued four times per year that told me how good I was. Though I look back on those years fondly, it was never about the “journey” – it was always about the destination. As a result of that mindset, I don’t believe that I ever truly enjoyed life as a process. And if life isn’t meant to be enjoyed as a process, these next 70-some-odd years are going to go by very slowly. 

That brings us to now. At nineteen years old, I have completed my first year of college. Throughout the past year, through a process of growing and learning, I have continued to “meet myself.” Honestly, I’m disappointed. While I have done everything that a girl of 19 “should do,” I haven’t done much else.  How lame. While I have never been overweight – I have also never been in shape, something that I have spent the better part of my life blaming on lack of coordination. At 19, I know that my body will probably never be as healthy or as capable again, and I intend to take advantage of it. Hence, the 30 day challenge. 30 Bikram yoga classes in 30 days. 30 hot, sweaty, sore, tired days. Bring it on. 

As I have prepared mentally for the challenge, I have told several of my friends and family of what I am about to do. The most common response? “Why the hell would you do that to yourself?” The answer?
1. I want to challenge myself physically and mentally. I want to know what I’m capable of. I want to know how far I can go. 
2. I want to improve my overall health and well-being. 
3. I want to work hard and see work’s inherent benefits. 
4. I want to lose weight. (Hey, you didn’t think this was all philosophical, did you?) 
5. I want something to focus on. I want to improve said focus. 
6. I want to come to a place in my practice where I can forget the heat, the sweat, and the aches and pains. 
7. I want to learn the art of stillness. 
8. I want to know my body better, feed it well, and thank it often. 
9. I want to improve my self-discipline. 
10. I want to know I can do this. 

See you at the finish line. 

Amelia.

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